Writings

Bargaining With Life


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A lot is happening at the same time. We are working hard with The Free Projects , the event is on Saturday and we are smashing out videos, posters, invitations and what not. I love it. It’s what I’ve dreamt of for a long time, working together with close friends with almost complete creative freedom.

At the same time my family is going through something big, right at this moment.

Then when I look to my left I see Snaps laying in the sun on the big carpet in the hall. Letting his little body get warmed up by the long sought after beams. His hind-legs are not what they once have been and we believe he suffers from backpain. He’s my best friend on four legs, I have my first memories with him, and how can I possibly make a decision on   taking away the being which has played the other part of this fifteen year old love-saga?

I took him out on a walk to see how he would deal with it. He started running, surprisingly enough, but at the same time it’s not a surprise at all because he was born a trooper, he never gives up. He will never willingly surrender to death. We met two caretakers who were pushing two old  men in wheelchairs. The birds were chirping, the snow is melting and I looked at the man with his head bent back against the wheel-chair, with a purple-blue ring around his left eye, skinny as a bird, and I couldn’t help but think that this would be the last time the sun caressed his face.

I’m experiencing life and death, good and bad, sun and darkness, all at the same time and it’s never been this obvious before that there has to be balance between the two antipoles, or none of it would exist.

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