Capable or Incapabale of Creating Without Fearing

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I wake up too late, between 9 and 10 every day. Apparently I’m turning off the alarm whilst sleeping. I try not to get anxious and tell myself my body and soul needs it.

It’s the first time in five months that I have days when I can do whatever I want and it makes me paralyzed, many thoughts, many ideas, many hours, but where to begin? And what to focus on? Four days have gone by and I have not done a single productive thing, and although it makes me a tad worried (who am I? Why don’t I just do the things I want to do? Everyone else does), I know that in these moments of nothingness, a ‘something’ usually appears.

It happened last night, after I had finished the last episode of the Affair, I got to thinking about loneliness, and my thoughts started spinning and all of a sudden I had a fully-fleshed movie script in my head.

A couple of nights before that, I was tossing and turning in bed, “I AM 22!!!”, those words hit me. For the first time in my life I felt as if I was lagging behind in life. I’ve always been on top of things, gone out on adventures, and paid a lot of money to venture out on them because I knew it would be worth the experience and lessons learned…And now I find myself discouraged and unable, have I lost my bravery? Or am I simply swinging on the swing of school-life?

I discussed with a friend yesterday how the ideal scenario for us would be to have a start-up idea and go for it, during our internship months. Imagine a couple of good friends building something they burn for together. On top of that – it can be done wherever on earth and hence generate a lot of experiences. 

Now, sitting by the kitchen-table, a sense of a much needed calm has surged in over my being, and I feel able, I feel stabile, and most importantly, I don’t fear creating. Hence I’m writing this blogpost.

Daily, Photos

Into The Way Out Secret Cosmic Grinda Island

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The 15th of August I, quite spontaneously, joined some of my classies to go to a one-day festival at Grinda. I had no idea what to expect and I guess I never could have expected what came before me anyway. The day was amazing, a brilliant Swedish summer’s day, which turned into evening with booze and wine, which turned into night with loud music and starry skies. We ended up on a cliff stargazing and it was magical. We intended to go home but all the taxi-boat drivers were apparently fast asleep and so we slept underneath the tent which covered the restaurant-patio. Young and reckless 😉


The boys teased Ash who did not want his glorious curls to get wet and determinedly splashed water on him…

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This is where we slept. We collected blankets like ants collect needles and then we cuddled up in a 7-man spoon and slept till’ the sun hit our eyes. It was cold and cozy.

Tough Viking and No storage left

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When I don’t write for a long time it’s as if my brain stocks up on all the events, experiences and learnings, till’ right about now – when the storage is full. Then I need to RELEASE, like a wild waterfall released from a dam.

Last Saturday I ran Tough Viking and now my arms look like bruised meat, the front-camera does not make it justice :


Apart from being a dalmatian for days afterwards, the race was good fun! It was more convenient to run in 20°C than in 8°C as it was in England when my siblings and I ran Tough Guy. This time I ran with Isa, and the poor fella’ got so severely electrocuted by the 10000V obstacle that she face planted and twisted her wrist. She raced the finish line with a nose-bleed = TRUE VIKING!

I found the electricity to be extremely uncomfortable. I got shocked in my neck which lead to me tasting the dirt as well.

I recommend the race for anyone who is up for a dirty, fun, team-experience! Because it becomes a team-exercise due to all the different levels of fit people are on, we help each other. I don’t know what I would have done without the Superman-man who took a hold of my arm and literally swept me off of my feet and lifted me up onto the containers which were stacked upon each other. I send him good vibes forever. 

Daily, Photos

Gold – azurblue – sun&run

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I dive into the water, everything quiet, tiny innocent jellyfishes stroking my body. I pick one up, look at it’s strange lump of a body and sends it back into the wild ocean. I run on the beach in my bikini, fall down into the stinking algae, scrape my knee, get back up and do cartwheels. Falsterbo is Mini-Greece for me, a brilliant place in Sweden where the summer is longer and day’s warmer.

The forest, long white beaches and the ocean are paradise on earth for me. I feel at such peace there. Caressed by natures gentle embrace. Can’t wait to go to Mallorca with mom and dad in a week to run, swim with the fishes and photograph everything beautiful.

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Tom Rosenthal – Go Solo

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You know some songs which simply connects to every neuron in your brain?

Last time this happened it was Take Me To Church, I was laying in my bed searching Spotify for songs, in the winter darkness, and there it was. It clicked with my brain.

Yesterday it happened again, with Go Solo – Tom Rosenthal. During my intervals last night, I listened to it, and fell down next to a tree and burst into tears. A young boy walked past me and probably thought I was taking a pee… Note to self: Have mental breakdowns in your house, but then again, the forest is so comforting…

Sometimes it’s necessary I guess, to just cry and feel everything intensely. Because even though it makes one feel like shit at the time, it usually turns around a couple of days after and suddenly happiness is the only emotion I know, and ever knew I had.

My song of summer 2015, and it speaks to me on a very deep level, considering I’m entering a new chapter of my life this autumn . Here is the very long version: