Daily, Photos

The Youthful Longing for Nothing and More

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In Ghana I decided to live my life here in Sweden, more like I did there, which equals spending more money on food, drinks, events, activities, and in return get more experiences and fun-times.

These past weeks have been all about sun-bathing (because summer came to Sweden?!?!! WHAT?!) going out, eating out, going to school, working and spend a lot of time with friends and a sweetheart.


I don’t know how many times Sonja and I have said, in the past couple of weeks: “Life’s too good. When is the shitstorm coming?” then we decided to simply enjoy all this goodiness without any scepticism.

Everything happens within a haze of hopes, dreams and lust for life. I see it in the eyes of my friends and in the conversations amongst us. A lot is cooking but we don’t know what it will boil down to, all these ideas, decisions and the several paths of life one could go down. Everyone has their own route and I love being a part of every single one’s own options and ideas.

I love being this age – all the questioning, advicing, adventures, strange happenings, possibilities, downfalls and the uncertainty to it all. 

Down below follows some snippets of late:


Over ‘n’ out. 


Capable or Incapabale of Creating Without Fearing

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I wake up too late, between 9 and 10 every day. Apparently I’m turning off the alarm whilst sleeping. I try not to get anxious and tell myself my body and soul needs it.

It’s the first time in five months that I have days when I can do whatever I want and it makes me paralyzed, many thoughts, many ideas, many hours, but where to begin? And what to focus on? Four days have gone by and I have not done a single productive thing, and although it makes me a tad worried (who am I? Why don’t I just do the things I want to do? Everyone else does), I know that in these moments of nothingness, a ‘something’ usually appears.

It happened last night, after I had finished the last episode of the Affair, I got to thinking about loneliness, and my thoughts started spinning and all of a sudden I had a fully-fleshed movie script in my head.

A couple of nights before that, I was tossing and turning in bed, “I AM 22!!!”, those words hit me. For the first time in my life I felt as if I was lagging behind in life. I’ve always been on top of things, gone out on adventures, and paid a lot of money to venture out on them because I knew it would be worth the experience and lessons learned…And now I find myself discouraged and unable, have I lost my bravery? Or am I simply swinging on the swing of school-life?

I discussed with a friend yesterday how the ideal scenario for us would be to have a start-up idea and go for it, during our internship months. Imagine a couple of good friends building something they burn for together. On top of that – it can be done wherever on earth and hence generate a lot of experiences. 

Now, sitting by the kitchen-table, a sense of a much needed calm has surged in over my being, and I feel able, I feel stabile, and most importantly, I don’t fear creating. Hence I’m writing this blogpost.


Last hour of a 21 year old

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There it goes, this life of mine. Second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour and all of a sudden another year has passed and in that realization is nothing more but the now.

This year I’ve been treated with many new humans in my life, experiences – both physical and mental, I’ve lost my grandma, and I have ventured out on yet another journey in my own mind.

A journey which holds many questions regarding love and who to love, what to do and how to do it, follow impulses or be logical, be brave or be a coward, float in the moment or affect it, be modest or be blunt? 

All I know now is I appreciate being a thinker, needless to say I don’t need answers to everything but I appreciate the questions. They push me forward, challenge me and may make me draw elevated conclusions and decisions that would not have occurred if I didn’t think so much about…everything.

I also dare to say I know that following intuition and inner sayings is difficult in a world made up of structures and social norms, even more so than I thought before.

I’ve also started on a novel. I’ve started on many but this one is different. It plays out in my mind and lasts longer than two pages, maybe 300. I write on it, in one way or the other, a little everyday, I collect experiences and sayings which boil down into entering the book.

I long for film-sets, acting and the craft of filming. I’m starting to think that my fourteen year old self received a (quite apparent) hunch of what I want to do in life.

Life- Long -Lessons –  Not letting my own stress affect my loved ones is key, because without them I am lost. The Holy Grail which is communication is another life-long lesson this year. Knowing that I am good as I am, sometimes even better than good, even when I feel alien. Giving energy to others without having any will give me more. Getting inspired by my family and act upon it. And more thereto. 

The seconds will roll by, hopefully for a long, long time, because I am eager to live every one of them.

Goodnight, forever, 21 year old me.


Daily, Photos

Into The Way Out Secret Cosmic Grinda Island

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The 15th of August I, quite spontaneously, joined some of my classies to go to a one-day festival at Grinda. I had no idea what to expect and I guess I never could have expected what came before me anyway. The day was amazing, a brilliant Swedish summer’s day, which turned into evening with booze and wine, which turned into night with loud music and starry skies. We ended up on a cliff stargazing and it was magical. We intended to go home but all the taxi-boat drivers were apparently fast asleep and so we slept underneath the tent which covered the restaurant-patio. Young and reckless 😉


The boys teased Ash who did not want his glorious curls to get wet and determinedly splashed water on him…

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This is where we slept. We collected blankets like ants collect needles and then we cuddled up in a 7-man spoon and slept till’ the sun hit our eyes. It was cold and cozy.