love

Daily, Writings

Blushing Storm


No Comments

Fearless in my own skin, I struck
I swept in, caught you off-guard
My sounds showered your mind, sent shivers through your spine
We rumbled together that night
drenched in the moment
absorbed by each other
I was a lot for you,
covering the sky with my presence
you encouraged it
We calmed down
the morning settled
you slowly rose
I became aware of my actions, of my excessiveness
As your vast gaze met mine,
you painted my cheeks in a hazy red
New to me, I became a blushing storm
struck
captivated by
somebody else

 

– J

 

 

 

 

Daily, Writings

See and make seen


No Comments

I didn’t know you for long.
A day after your death I backtracked how long we actually had known each other for.
I counted two months, an insight which lead to instant disappointment because in this world we put the length of any relationship on a piedestal.

I pushed that annoying inkling of disappointment away because in my world I treasure the impact of a relationship, how we affected each other during our time together. I now know that two months can be as wholly as 5 years.

We were becoming friends but more than that too because you were the first person I dared to think of as a possible mentor.
Your manners toward others inspired me. You made everyone feel seen at the same time as you jokingly teased them about a minor detail in their own manners.

I witnessed how you brought those manners to the surface and I saw in the persons face that no one, except himself, had ever noticed it, which in return left him smiling.

You saw and made seen, in the most loving, joyful of ways.

As autumn came marching in and the first rain fell heavily, we stood waiting to go out for lunch. I said something in the likes of “Into the darkness we go…” you looked at me with a half-smile and a shrug, saying “I know many people don’t like this weather but I’ve always seen it as something beautiful because it’s as if the world becomes clean.”

I never told you how much I appreciated you, I never had the chance to ask you if you could be my mentor, even after I would’ve quit. Because we thought we had time, you said it constantly “focus on this now, we’ll dive into that later” but Gustaf, you know, later never came.
Thank you for teaching me, in the most horrid of ways, never to hold back on declarations of love.

Rain was pouring down when I walked home from the subway tonight. Out of nowhere I was struck by your words, as if the rain itself whispered in your voice “The world gets clean”.

So from here on now my friend, I promise that I’ll forever keep that glittery view of the world in mind whenever it cleans, I mean rains.

Daily, stories, Writings

Sizzling Connection


No Comments

Between two souls lie a path
it’s riddled with obstacles
they hold hands and on the path they
play
jump
run
dodge to the ground
one looks forward
one looks backward
so to keep an eye open for all that may intervene
they hord experiences along the way
picking fruits from each other’s brains
They’re feasting off of each other
Cherishing the moment they found one another
the ones they’re in, the ones that will come

One day one of the souls hopes it’s hallucinating
for in the horizon the path is sectioning
From forces, as well as reasons, unbeknownst to both
they’re forced into separation
Not by will for who wants to end such a thrill?
Rather, an inkling of something undeclared
perhaps a future not shared

They cry and grasp for each other
scream and shout as their fingers disentangle

Behind them the path dissolves
onto their own they go

In the torture they find comfort
if they met by chance ones
it may happen twice, if not;

adventures, Daily, Photos

Shenanigan’s in the South of Sweden


No Comments

Where white beaches live and tiny beach-cottages are situated, I feel at home. My family and I travel to Falsterbo/Skanör in Skåne every year and for the two past years Magnus, my sister’s boyfriend, and Nils have joined too, which adds to it even more.

DSC03224DSC03252

Nils and I have been a couple for more than a year now and during this trip I experienced a new kind of depth to our relationship. It takes time to get to know someone and I finally feel like I am getting there with him. We ventured out every night on our own adventures. Mainly to look at the sunset, or the moonrise, depending on the time. Being in love and committing this wholly is one of the most exciting journey’s I’ve ever been on.

DSC03168DSC03099

We spent our days eating, drinking, tanning, running, biking aaaand in the end we looked at the Falsterbo Horse Show.

If you ever go there, go to Fiskerögeriet in Skanör and order a glutenfree shrimp-sandwich. It’s the one dish I long for every year.

DSC03114

These beauties made me tremble behind the camera. DSC03136DSC03140

Speaking of love, these two sprinkle their shimmering twosomeness-love all over us. Nothing better than seeing our parents still rooting for each other and be the team they’ve always been, now with a touch of what seems to be a reawakening of their love. Am I being cheesy enough? I believe so.

DSC03060DSC03122DSC03207DSC03248

This trip was also the first time I took my Sony A7Sii out for some stills. I love the flatness  and the crispy feel to the photos.

adventures, Daily, Photos

Freedom on a bike


No Comments

I’ve been to Italy, in Padergnone. I biked there. Surrounded by mountains, fluffy trees sprinkled in green, lakes of emerald green, we flew forward. At least it felt like it. A sensation of freedom, one that got me all happy-tears-eyed. I looked at my father and brother biking before me and I, as I often do, was struck by immense love for them. I wept some more behind my golden Ray’s.
“Sensitive” would some say, “High on life and love” I’d respond 😉

IMG_2860IMG_2887

I’m sick of surpressing emotions. I used to get uncomfortable when my mom started crying for e v e r y t h i n g, now I love it (although I can’t help but mocking her a little when she cries over a cute bottle of wine or something). People are so held together these days, I prefer raw emotions. It’d be easier to decipher a person and get close if we became better at painting our inner states before each other, letting go of barriers and accept the feeling.

IMG_3056IMG_3051IMG_3032

My skin has changed color and my freckles have left hibernation. This weekend, the weather showed us just how amazing Stockholm can be. Today the temperature is steadily dropping, clouds cover the sky, the mood is mellow and I am swooning. This is the perfect writing moment. It’s when I’m filled with adventures and new experiences that I can relax and more than happily slide into writer’s mode. My mind feels pregnant. Filled with thoughts that are dying to be born into word combinations.

Jacob climbed Monte Bondone the fastest and hence “won” over the older youngsters. I missed my sister but apart from that it was splendid spending time with family and extended family. Splendid in the way of comfort and safety, unconditional love and support.

Daily, Photos

36 Squeeze Meter Party


No Comments

IMG_0239

Last weekend Nils and I threw a moving-in party, which I named, cleverly, (if I may say so myself) “36 Squeeze Meter Party”. We had around 40 people here and the night was a blast. Some friends brought a smoke machine which altered the experience and turned our apt into a club. In the midst of partying, Fredrik asked us all to join in on a mantra. Within seconds, all of us sat down on the floor and sang along to:

Parvati’s Peace Song

It was amazing! It’s powerful to be in a crowd and sing together.

IMG_1586IMG_1562IMG_1591

My family came too, as well as Nils’s sister! The best parties are the ones with a mixed crowd. GAH. Can’t get over how much I love to host and have all my favorites at one place.

The last friends left at 3 and Nils and I fell asleep like two happy, satisfied campers. Like this happy:

FullSizeRender 16

adventures, Daily, Photos

Fun Friends and Urban Burners


No Comments

These past couple days have been amazing, despite feeling completely blue Sat-Wednesday. But then on Wednesday a bunch of my friends, from all different kind of circles, met up at Carmen. We said goodbye to one Indian who’s going to Amsterdam and Hi to our long lost friends that have been back in India for too many months.

Sonja looks like she’s checking someone out real bad. 

IMG_8961

 

On Thursday Chris and I met up with a wonderful person who we’re helping filming her wedding-speech. Such a beautiful thing to take part in such a private project! Her love and happiness rubbed off on me big time.

After that it was time for a well-needed 24h hang with my girls! We went to Uppsala for a night. We ate baguettes with delicious toppings, drank cava and wine and then headed out for a fun night.
We started at Bierhaus, moved on to Shotluckan where they had really cool shots and we devoured them like horses devour grass.
With shots in our bellies we moved on to Flustret where we danced to the live-act, performed by Blackness!

The night was fun with a lot of dancing. The day after we had brekkie, talked, played cards and then we slothed our way back to Stockholm.

I arrived home, took a nap and then headed to Nils’s parents where we hung out for a while till’ the whole gang took an uber to Nobelberget to attend Urban Burn. My friends have an exhibition there now so we all have passes. It was neat to be in a place where people’s attitudes are all about openness, love and “being who one is”.

IMG_4240IMG_3233IMG_0016

We were glittery and the sky was a rainbow.