Nature, a Double-Edged Sword

She lures you in, seduces you with brisk air and long-sought-after golden rays of sun. She sprinkles the streets in leaves which hold all spectrums of colors, she hypnotizes you. Making one believe that life is a walk in a magical park where nothing evil can happen.

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She shows off all her best sides, fooling you into believing that the sky is an ever-changing canvas which she paints, only for you.


Now that she has your attention, she surprises you by showing another side of her, one that is seldom seen. The bittersweet combination of pastel clouds and teasing mirroring, which makes you want to jump into the ice-cold water. Along with colossal, uncanny bird’s nests hovering above ground. Gruesome and fair, all at once.

img_2748Dystopian clouds roll in over the sky and in over your mind. Leaving you with an eerie feeling of that perhaps the world is not as picturesque as it seemed. Could that be nature’s gift and curse? Its’ tendency to build castles in the air full of hopes, dreams and fantasies, only to, in the next moment, tear them apart, filling the air with reality.

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Reminding you of how nothing is ever constant, except from change.

Brace yourselves…

I’m physically exhausted. Yesterday I ran like a maniac, 3 km fast warm-up, then doing 8x400m á 1.30min (fast for me because I’m out of shape, the WR is 47.60 seconds so there’s that comparison for you), then wrapped it up with 2km jogging. Today Sonja and I went boxing and now I’m laying here with out-of-order legs and arms. It’s a strange sensation, gravity has never felt this heavy. It’s like I’m carrying the weight of the world.

Although, in an hour my friends and I are doing something I’ve been longing for. We’re going to the launch of BOUNCE, a huge room filled with trampolines. I kid you not, this is a dream come true. FINALLY these type of venus are popping up in Sweden, they’re building a parkour-park too. Nothing gets me in a better mood than trampolines, monkey-bars, the ocean, ANYTHING that makes me feel free like a bird, a fish or nimble as a monkey. 

What else? We switched to winter-time this Sunday. The days become shorter and darker because the sun sets at 4, also, it’s been raining all day… Depressed yet? This is the time of the year when the Stockholmers disappear from the streets. They slowly crawl back into their caves to hibernate. You know this is happening to your friends when they stop snapchatting about their fabulous out-and-about lives and start going to therapy instead, I’m exaggerating, obviously. But not really, because according to Baba Pendse (chief physician within psychiatry) 90-95% of all Swedes become more moody during the winter. 1 million (10 %) gets seasonal affective disorder.

I will brace myself from this winter by: 

  • Working hard 
  • Run outside/take long walks 
  • Have a lot of dinners 
  • Cuddle with N 
  • Try new activites: salsa, paddle tennis, suggestions? 
  • Read books 
  • Go on a weekend somewhere 
  • Play games with my friends 
  • Be with my family 
  • Go to christmas-markets 
  • Play in the snow 
  • Go ice-skating 
  • Work out at fun gyms 
  • BOUNCE, duh!? 
  • WRITE a lot. Because this is the time of the year when I actually sit my ass down and write. 



Apocalyptic Delight

We are striving in the light of pain
Thriving in apocalyptic delight
A life on the edge
desperately searching for magic
destructive behavior
The constant search for a savior
For at times, life is bleached
by the ruthlessness of

It’s senseless to believe
we’re only here for fertility
when everything circles our
minds ability

Tidings of pain from the south
makes the Western world seem vain
Yet the destruction increases
Nurtured by that
we move on

life is not all for nothing.

Long time no see

Been up in my head lately and haven’t been able to put words to my thoughts, but I’m thinking I’m done with that now. Sick of thinking, better start doing instead. Hence I’m back here in my little digital home.

These past weeks I’ve been partying a lot, held our final presentation on our final project at Hyper, lost my bankcard & tried new birth control pills which messed up my mind. Now I have three weeks of “professional specialization” before internship which means I’m supposed to find a mentor, make a plan of my internship with Chris and yadiyada. I’m yearning for NYC though, so I might go on a weekend there to visit my favorite Italian, Elena. ❤

So, a photobomb:


Changing times

I’ve been through a whirlwind of thoughts these past couple of weeks. In particular it’s been about one decision.
Negotiating with myself what the right move is, measuring pros and cons, seeking advice from everywhere. I’ve been searching for hints, something which could confirm or deter my choice. Then I took a decision. We’re going (my class) out on internship in November, for seven months. I’ve been working on my portfolio, which is far from done because I lost motivation, so instead I started to figure out my values and driving forces. Do I really want to be at a film production company? Yes, one day I do but not now, because an opportunity arose, a dream coming true. My friend and I are going to spend these seven months doing sketches, short-films and do jobs for other companies within film. I want to act, write manuscripts and realize my own/and others ideas with good friends.

These 7 months are going to put us and our abilities to test and it’s going to be horrifically wonderful. We’re doing our own thing and that sentence speaks to my core. It’s what I want to do. Build something from scratch, watch it grow and take on the challenges as they come.

“Carpe diem” “Yolo” “Follow your dreams” “Go hard or go home” – I’ve decided to do all that, because it can’t get worse than worst.

Runner’s High

6th of Sep, Tuesday 

I have to tell you about a snippet of my night.

It started out with me negotiating with, well…me, whether I should go out and run or not, considering my painful achilles tendon. I voted for yes, “screw you AT, find another body to mess with”.

So I hit the streets and thereafter the trails. The AT hurt per usual the first couple of 200m but after some stretching it worked. Then I started running for real. I noticed how my legs worked like a sewing machine “Tatatatatata!” they went, and went and went and went. Wow. Carbs and resting is the key to speedy legs, I thought to myself.

This evening in Stockholm, Djurgården, was mindblowing. The clouds were pink, the sun burned like fire in the horizon, people were walking and talking. All and all an idyllic sight.

My body was pumping, breath flooding and I felt more alive than I have in a while. On my way back I stopped for a photo-session and was overtaken by a very fast girl in my age. I started running again and had a running man in front of me, the triathlon type of looker. When I caught up on him he, noticed me and started running faster. I simply kept my pace. I thought that he was in a rush now because this is the second girl who will take him.

I was right. For after a while he slowed down and I ran past him, he uttered “Damn, some very fit girls out tonight!”. I laughed and kept on pacing, embracing the tiredness in my body.  Eventually I came to a stop with endorphines spraying from my ears (Swedish expression). I felt high on life. So I shouted “WOOO!”.

On top of my joy I suddenly caught something with my eye. In the lights from the lamp-posts on the sidewalk next to a bigger road, I spied a man who had the most tremendous running style I’ve ever seen. His legs were not legs, they where wheels and with a complete stabile torso he took on meter by meter, fast as hell. I simply stopped in awe.  Straight after him came a sportscar, burning away, and I thought “Sure, man built that, but it will never be as impressive as the human body.”

When I came to my street I saw a 40+ man walking and tossing his american football in the air. I did not think much of it until I had passed him and, for some reason, looked back. I then saw that his ball was trapped in some really tall bushes. He looked at me, and I laughed in sympathy.

Then I spent 10 minutes with this man, the two of us trying to tackle  (literally tackling) this giant bush. We jumped, waved with a stick, tried to climb it. Nothing worked, until he found a strange looking fence and kind of brushed the bush with the fence, and PLOP, down came the ball. Everything appeared very comically. We high-fived and went on with our lives.


People Engineering

A choice or two
My voice
Many others too
Engineering my thoughts
Setting them straight
Mend me into a social saint
Do this
Not that
Think this
Not that
Slowly losing the screws
Which held me
Made me
Filled now with nails
Of other people’s traits
The concept of I
Is now you
Your choice
Your voice


A Stockholm Chimera

There lies peace in this morning, it is nesting on the streets, huddling together with relief in a solemn embrace.
Our beautiful city is a memory now, it exists in a thousands of digital and analogue photo albums, and in the minds of those who wandered these streets.
Some of them, or many rather, are not here to testify what once was, for they are dead. Minds who can’t speak of how bustling this city was during summer nor how quiet it was during winter.
They’ll never be able to say how many of the cherry trees actually blossomed in Kungsträdgården this summer, nor will any survivors, for the trees, just as the people, are gone. They were bombed before they had the chance to blossom into life.

In the quiet of the truce and in the wait for the end of this war, I think to myself – can one tell if the morning has broken if one wasn’t there to see the sun rupture the sky in half?
How can we know for sure that war on the opposite end of our globe is happening, if we have not heard the machine-guns shatter bodies into a million pieces? More importantly, who takes the time to care?

These are the types of thoughts I surround myself with. They are my best friends at night for they make everything seem mythical and diminutive, but during daytime they become my enemies. They give me hope in that that I want to believe, eagerly so, in humankind, and that we aren’t forgotten. This is why they are my enemies – hope in this situation is a curse.

A day of everything

Started this day off with a casting for a commercial. I got to run around on a basket-court and felt very much at home (not with the basket, but the running). It’s my first casting where I get to be physically active and truly felt like the acting came more naturally since movement is kind of engraved into my DNA.

I then headed to school where we got divided into new teams and I chose a client which sparked my interest more than any other clients thus far – , all part of the Reinvent Learning Foundation . I hope to get to deep-dive into their research and talk to neuroscientists about their insights in the field and what they think is the ideal environment for kids to learn in. I’m still waiting for my approval/dismissal from to see whether I will start studying Psychology I this semester or no… I really, really hope I will. Fingers crossed.

At 5pm I met up with my former team-mates at Nytorget 6, where we met with a couple of ICA-employees who wanted to show their appreciation for the concept we did for them by treating us with a dinner.

Now it’s time for a workout and some work for SnabbaSvar (if you want to do market research surveys, this is the service for you ;)) Gracelessly promoting!). 

Saturday Morning Thoughtlings

His warm body slides down next to mine, despite the early hour, I am too awake for my own good. I steal kisses even though I know he would have prefered me not noticing his arrival, because he doesn’t want to disturb me. It must be around 4-5 in the morning and now that I’m awake I can’t find the platform to the sleep-train.

I toss and turn for a while, I want to be close, I want his heartbeat to sway me back to sleep but his chest hurts my ear and I end up next to him instead.

The alarm goes off, yanks me out of sleep and allows all the uncanny dreams I’ve been having surface to my consciousness. We cuddle and he is in good spirits as usual, I feel like a dream-walker, not really asleep and not in reality just yet.

In a jiffy he’s out the door, he leaves with an “I love you” but I don’t hear so he looks at me long-faced. He repeats and I repeat.

Whilst I’m breaking my fast I look at the dreary sky, feeling happy that time is moving slowly today and I let out a small wish saying “Please weather, stay gloomy.”

In the distance I hear the cavalry choirs sing to the comforting tone of a church bell, they make for an interesting combination, I think of it as a chant of war and faith. The tune is abruptly disturbed by the noise from an ambulance. Isn’t that life in a nutshell? Whenever one is experiencing a highly satisfying moment, something disrupts it. During a deep conversation with a friend, a silent moment by the beach in the sunset, sex, etc. someone or something comes in like an extra in a movie and forces the main characters to stop doing what they’re doing. As if it’s a reminder of how life is not a silent moment by the beach, but actually filled with life at all times, and life can’t be ignored or stoved away, it simply is.


Summer Memories & the complexity of memory

Summers tend to appear blurry, days vaporize into each other and create fuzzy memories. When did I do what? What happened when? Who was I with?  Thank you Steve Jobs for creating the smartphone so I can document whatever I want to in a jiffy and remember.

Speaking of this, I wonder if I, due to the invention of the smartphone, have gotten a worse memory?  Thinking that I am less prone to remember things for myself, knowing that I always have my “buddy” in my pocket who remembers for me. Then the question is – what do I actually remember? Thinking back on my summer, I have vivid memories of some occasions, and others are gone.

It’s interesting with memory since it seems to be very selective in what it chooses to remember, but it happens without my conscious interferance, so what is the dominant decision-maker in memory selection and why does it choose to remember some things but not others?  This all adds up to if it is worth the effort to exercise ones memory in order to remember more clearly, or is it OK to leave that up to a computer? Then to a more philosophical question – WHY is the need to remember so strong? Perhaps it is a type of receipt on that I have lived.

Anyhow, here is my summer in phone-shots. Starting from this last week to the beginning of summer.

Cacophony Misfortune

I can’t bear the sounds of the world,
how they catapult and throw themselves upon each other
combined into a hollow scream
containing all horror created by mankind

Ghastly moans from a neglected child
The solemn sigh from a lonely soul
A silent sob, one the citizens of the world
has heard too many times, from a mother
who has lost her child

The earth is forced to listen
but earth has no ears,
hence it does not care
We on the other hand, us, the humans,
we listen
but we choose not to care

– J

The Four-legged Ones

I’ve stumbled upon a bunch of cute animals lately, here’s an excerpt from the encounters.


This is Mila, named after Mila Kunis, she belongs to Nils mother and sister. What a stunner eh?


These summer-cats had it great compared to all the summer-cats here in Sweden that are bought by families, brought out to their summer-houses, only to be left there when their vacations are over. These ones lived in a big room with their mama, had plenty of food, water and toys and awaited their new families.



Went completely haywire with the camera over this scene, Mila in the old Jaguar, with the clouds mirrored in the windows – ah, it all felt very cinematic.


A wonderful place called Skäret

Last week was spent at Skäret, Skåne, with Nils family.

I was excited and a tad skittish about hanging out with his family for the first time, but it all went fine without any major disasters. They took me on tours around the surroundings in his fathers Jaguar Mark  II from 1960-something, which was the first time ever that I sat in a car that old! The scenery over there is amazing, little hills, big forests, huge fields, flowers, fauna, the ocean and on top of all that – dramatic skies. We ate great food (a lot of fish), swam and explored!


I’m now initiated into the world of veteran cars, I was not aware of the bond the “veteran cars”-owners have, they wave to each other, they go to veteran-meetings etc. And apparently, if something breaks down in your car, like the battery, you can’t buy a new battery, no, it has to be (at least look like one) an old battery.


En route to celebrate this beautiful couple’s 30th wedding anniversary at Rut På Skäret.


Mila – The Stunner.


We visited Krapperups Castle which had a surrounding moat, a perfect garden AND koi-fishes in the pond!


Note to self: Don’t you ever again attempt to capture the starry sky when drunk. You’ll be left with going through 60 useless pictures.

Midsummer Madness

Arabo had been planning our midsummer feast for a whole week and when Midsummer’s day came, he, Pako and Sonja rolled into my kitchen with SO MUCH FOOD! The rest of the crew came at 4 and so we started eating + drinking en masse… 😉 Nils was game-leader and we played burnball, catching apples from buckets, frog-jump, and Norwegian drunkenness.

Here’s a photobomb from the day, am working on the film as well. It’s difficult not to take a thousands of pictures/film of these beautiful friends of mine, hence I have some content to go through…


The best freaking Västerbottenpie any of us had ever tasted. Arabo is a master-chef.


Someone was sun-kissed.. ehrm ehrm, more like slapped.



It’s nice to see that my love for him was captured ❤


Boss ass bitches.


Ash, the curly one with yellow shirt, sure knows how to pose!


Look at this fairy…


We went out on a raid to find flowers and stole them from my neighbours…




V danced with the pole… ;)))


I was feeling it… Timmy was not =/


These guys lost and we all got to shoot them in their bums with the football.


The best fellas!


Don’t mess with him.


Drunken burnball was extremely fun. Highly recommended!




Mama’s Birthday

Two weeks back I had quite the party-week. It started off with a club-night with A and A, and the day after all of the fam + extended fam met up at Strandbryggan for lunch and celebrated mamma’s 54th birthday. The week then continued with a night at V’s (previous post), a rave on Friday and lastly a great evening at Ebba’s which transitioned into a night at Trädgården where N was king of the castle thanks to discounts and letting us skip the line! Needless to say, I was torn after these days. I’m not 16 no more. But oh it was fun!


Grandma came for the lunch! ❤


The day when I finally caught M on camera. It’s a pity, the world deserves to see such a pretty face!


My Godmother looked as fab as ever.


I don’t know how many pictures I have of Hank drinking champagne, it’s just something about it.


Dad forced me to do silly poses which I called off ASAP for the sake of my camera-lens, didn’t want it to get distorted due to my fugly posing ;))


And mama looked cute as a button.


My squad.


Found these adorable pomeranian’s in a store and it felt like peeking in to a Brooklyn-shop!


Lastly, the happiest man on earth! ❤

A magical night at Veronica’s

My friend Veronica hosted a dinner at her parents house at the most lush, serene, beautiful location.

I was filled with joy over friends, jumping on a trampoline, the weather and all the other feelings that come with summer. Here are some memories from those 18h.



At random times half of the crew disappeared into the woods to go Pokémon hunting. When I read this in twenty years I want to remember the P-frenzy and how governments all over the world had to warn citizens about not getting on the train-tracks and hunt, for example. Or how one guy got stabbed by a fence at Stadion in his eagerness to catch a Poké.


The queen herself, Veronica. IMG_0060

The Russian king, enjoying his wine on a blissful afternoon in his lush gardens. IMG_0082

The weird, awesome gang!


The sun went to bed and handed over its’ leftovers to us, the last little beams which threw a cascade of beauty onto our world. IMG_0104IMG_0122IMG_0158IMG_0178IMG_0192

This is how I expect to find Pranav in 30 years from now, content in his sofa with a glass of wine and a dog!

The Power of One Person

And all of a sudden you start to feel,
certain things
It erupted from what one person said
Those words,
they make your being chime
A tingle,
you wake up
from sleep
you’ve been stirred alive
Those words,
cling to you like nothing before
You know,
they are your truth
A person,
evoked a spark of life
in you
Other beings can do that,
ability to
turn you into what you really are
Remind you,
of what is your core

I believe I’m living a dream

These summer-days are very dreamy. Not because the weather is good, because it ain’t. but because I get to hang out with friends at great locations, spend time with my family and kiss my boyfriend whenever I want to.

I’m lagging behind in my very important blogging about my life, because life is running so fast my bloggin’ can’t handle. Or something.

These are captured moments from when N and I went to his parents house in Skåne. Let me gasp.

Hover over or click the pictures for some writings about the moments. 



Summer Indulgence

I’ve spent today in hangover heaven (read: hell). Had almost all of my girls here last night and we ate, drank wine and cackled away. Around 11 Anna and I headed to Karusell with another friend and danced away like maniacs, without inhibitions. When they closed we headed of to F12 and negotiated with the guard to get some pretty decent discount on our entrance-fee, life is a bargain – remember that kids! 😉

How I LOVE being able to have friends over whenever I want and also how much they seem to like my apartment and what I’ve done with it! Means a great deal to me since I want them to want to hang out here as often as they can.

Summer this far is a perfect balance between time for boredom, contemplation and action.  I’m getting a clearer picture of what I want to do, but foremost how I want to live my life and what I want to spend time on. A 9-5 job is nowhere to be seen in the future but rather being my own boss in a team of friends inbetween my own projects. I need every day to be different with new challenges in order to let this restless piece of soul be at peace.

Getting up in 6 hours to play in an annual volleyball-tournament. Our team-name this year is Bigger Ass Bitches, which was the natural transition from last years name which was: Big Ass Bitches.

Wish us luck! =)

The Stained Man – a short story

It’s a solemn morning for the man who is busy pouring his coffee down the drain.
He is mad, for all he can see is the stain, the stain on his white shirt which, in his mind, represents his life.
He mutters to himself as he watches the rain trickle down the window pane; “I’m nothing but a stain on a white shirt. A blob that no one likes, something that sticks out and can’t be left unnoticed. A freak in a heap of normalities, stiletto heals and formalities.”
He makes no attempt to wash it off, instead he unbuttons the shirt, letting his belly hang out over his suit-pants and tosses it on the floor. The phone rings and reveals the name of the person calling, “Samantha Miller”.
“Not today Samantha. Not today,” he whispers as he puts his phone into sleep-mode.
What Samantha, his boss of 15 years, doesn’t know is that Bob Litter has remained by his sink, overlooking the apartments in front of him, for 2 hours. Ever since he mindlessly stained himself with coffee he has been standing there, contemplating, letting his workshift start without him for the first time in, well, 15 years.

“Bob the Blob”
“Hey Bob, did you litter yourself?!”
“Bobby the Flobby!”
“Bob the Sob”
“Litter is Bitter!”
He acts it out, imitates the voices of the past and the now, all the disgraceful nicknames that have poured over him throughout his life, in school, at work, at camp. Samantha says they are uttered from his co-workers with love and sarcasm, that they would never have done it if there were an ounce of seriousness to them. He finds that hard to believe.
He is fat, he is bald and he has dark circles around his eyes, hanging like bags of the sickly skin which a nearly dead elderly person acquires.
“They are right. Somehow they’ve made me believe it. Turned me into it. Turned me into the stain I never knew I was. I will die anyway, might as well get on with it. When death seems more fun than life, it has to be the right choice, right?”
No one will answer him, for he has no confidants, he has no wife, no husband, no children, no friends, no living family, except from a cousin he’s never met, he is alone. In retrospect I can see how it happened, that he involuntarily chose loneliness, he let others get to him and beat him down inch by inch. He lost his fighting-spirit when his long-sought-after ex had a miscarriage and she left him. It was during the time when he still had hair, was less fat and had just landed his job as a banking official, when life was fun.

He picks up the white shirt with a coffee-stain on it and puts it on again.
“I should die as the stain I am,” he says a he laughs and sobs, laughs and sobs in a spectrum of indecisive emotions.
His index finger reaches around the trigger of the gun that has been lying in front of him since he went to get it just after the stain arose. He is disturbed by the flashing light from his phone, it reads “Samantha Miller”. He takes the gun and shoots the phone, two shots, glass flying, metal cracking, one shot, Bob is dead, blood flying, no one is crying.

It actually pains me, as death, to see this. What a lonesome soul, what a beautiful mind that so few got to get to know. What I know though that Bob didn’t know, is that Samantha Miller called him, not to bark at him for being late but for getting the door code to his housing estate.
For outside his whole team of banking officials awaited him to leave for work. How wonderful they looked in their suits, party-hats and colorful helium-balloons. Today was Bob’s 64th birthday. Wait, something is happening. The police has knocked down Bob’s door, Samantha Miller has called them in sheer concern for the man who has never been late for work.

The police finds the man on the floor in his kitchen, seemingly floating on a stain of blood.

– J

Hotel J with J and N

He told me not to book anything in on the 12th of June and let me live in oblivion till’ five days before when he revealed that we were going on a staycation in Nacka.

Met him up by Dramaten, with butterflies in my belly and was stoked about going on a mini-adventure. We took the boat out to Nacka Strand, checked in at Hotel J, jumped in our king-size bed and then went and played tennis – which was incredibly fun despite my competitive aggressive side that pops up whenever I smell competition.

“The more champagne in the sun, the more fun” as the old saying goes.

The evening spiraled down into something taken out of a tourist-book that you simply assume is photoshopped till death, but here’s a truth: it’s not. It’s reality.

That tower over there is Kaknästornet, which is situated a couple of hundred meters from where I live!


Fun fact: Our first picture together, ever, was taken by a German/Russian/not quite sure who was there on the pier with his wife to revisit their engagement-spot. Hence, I took a picture of them and they took one of us. Look how beautiful it became…


HAHA. I find it hilarious. Luckily the second one came out pretty cute.


We headed back to the hotel and did this, which I recommend – bubbles and whiskey.


A mini-adventure of sorts!


Play Seriously

I had my assessment today and it bugged me, it made me feel inadequate and wrong, lost and unintelligible. Haunted by the feeling of always doing too little, never enough.

I structure a routine to fit everything in, ending up with a breakdown and smeary tears. When is “it’s enough” and “how active can one be during a day” and “I should be able to do that too today”? What is “fitting everything in” when you can’t hear your own thoughts? Then it doesn’t matter, does it?

These are the thoughts I’ve fought with the past couple of weeks, trying to find a balance where I enjoy every day and not simply stressing through it. I have not succeeded. And when I write this I think: “What is knot of stress in the stomach when people are suffering for real?” It’s nothing and yet it is everything in those moments – The anxiety moments of trying to fit everything in, deliver here and there, being here for everyone I love and still remain pleasant to be around. I see now that it’s a huge performance-anxiety issue. PERFORM ON ALL LEVELS – or else you are worthless. Note to self: That is not true. The more I try to do at once the worse the results get, so please myself, try and narrow it down and do what tingles your brain the most.

On that note: I am so happy it’s summer now, I am going to fix all tiny details in my apartment, do projects I’ve been thinking about for ages, spend time with family, friends and boyfriend, take photos, work, love and laugh and go on adventures! Most importantly: I am going to date like crazy (friends I haven’t seen in a long while, that is) and plan my summer. I’m not going to let it go to waste by taking the days as they come, no, I am going to be the first one to know about events, festivals and other fun things.

Also longing for a new trekking-adventure.

Destruct to reconstruct

This headline could have been the beginning to one of my highly acclaimed poems but nah 😉 It’s all about the moving-in chaos that I currently live in. BUT, my bed is here, the sofa arrived today (currently sitting in it m m m), school’s out on Friday and summer is here! Life is friggin’ good. Can’t wait to start sharing my space with my friends and go on wild adventures this summer.

First of all, my team and I won the ICA-hack. Which felt great – first time I’ve ever won a hack at Hyper.


Regarding the reconstruction, this was my livingroom wall when I moved in. Bye green forever, now it’s in a cool grey color painted with Jotun’s mineral-color.


N has been a gem throughout the whole moving-process and helped me with so much. To thank him I let him write his name over one of my walls, just as a memory. JK. IMG_0796

My fambam came by and we had coffee on the floor and soon I can invite them over to MY place for dinner. How sick is that?!?!


Don’t think I need to comment on this picture more than: He’s mine. ;))


We had a mega-celebration dinner for Magnus, Jake and Hank on Mother’s Day (don’t worry, mom was celebrated accordingly). What a treat it was to be ALL of us, girlfriends/boyfriends/extended family, in one room for one night.


Last Wednesday was a day of events. Firstly Cam and I went to Start-Up Grind to listen to Natalia Brzezinski (did I get that right?) which was interesting, what a ball of energy she is! Afterwards, after having struggled with our useless navigation-skills, we found our way to Brandstationen where my team-mate, friend and photographer Nicolina Knapp had an exhibition. So proud of her, making her way to the top!


Lastly, my gang came by my apartamento. Felt such bliss during that night, to just sit down, catch-up and talk for ages. We ended the evening with laying flat on my floor chanting some Indian meditation-chants. Questionable. I know.


Of late

Today is the day! Meeting with the broker at 9 to sign and get the keys. Afterwards I’m heading to school to present for ICA and then I’m rushing back home to pack up some of my things, run to the store and buy paint. Because tomorrow – PAINTMANIA KICKS OFF! 

Of late:


These two on a dramatic night!


Coop is running the ad which I am the front-figure of, all over the place. Got a friggin shock when I drove into my usual store and found myself on what, like 8 different signs!? Felt like a bad dream, JOSIES EVERYWHERE!!!


Our class was cute one sunny day and sang for our PM. We were waiting outside for half an hour, and everytime someone walked out the door we started screaming happy birthday to them, and it was funny to see how happy people became! Felt like we were mood-up minions, hired to lift people’s spirits ❤ It’s about two weeks left now of my first year at Hyper. What a journey it has been.

Moving Out

Change is coming. After 22 years in the same house I am now moving out, on Friday to be precise, AND I CAN’T BLOODY WAIT!

I have scrolled through every pinterest post on interior design and every furniture warehouse and now I think I have a good picture on how I want it.

A dream coming true getting the chance to design my own home.

Did a tiny moodboard:


The Nesting Sorrow

There is grief circling mind, like a ring of wildfire, it surrounds every thought. Not letting anything in, nor out. I push the memories back because they remind me, and reminciscing leads to tears and crying hurts. I woke up with a blistering headache, piercing through my head as if it was a spear of glowing lead, an evil reminder of the night before.

The 16th of May when we said goodbye to our family-member and my best mate, an era ended. We got almost 16 years together, Snaps and I, my stubborn little Dachshund.

He left us in peace with the whole family united, sitting around him in the living-room. A room for the living, now a room for the dead. He is now gone, and I am left bewildered because at the same time as I’ve always known I would out-live him, I thought he would live forever, here with me.

I don’t know life without him. He is in my first memories, or rather, he is my first memories. I was six years old when we received him and the month leading up to his arrival was, and still is, the longest month in my life, and that longing is my first memory. I had never before felt so strongly for something and then he came and he came in like a whirlwind; barking so much the neighbours sent threat-letters about calling the police if we didn’t make him shut up, talking whenever we cuddled, running away into the forest barking after some rabbit only to wake up the whole neighbourhood, running away only to stand outside the house of a bitch – crying for her attention. 

I still feel his body in my arms, I know every part as if it were my own, his every sound and what it meant, I always said he was my heart outside my body and now it’s been chopped off. It hurts.

I am missing you pal. May you forever be as vivid and alive as you were, and as you are in my mind right now.

Love, Never happened

We tremble
As we stride through unknown territories
To the sound of ‘Harmony of Pheromonies’
We reach
As we speak quietly
For each other’s inner entirety
We seek
As we, eyes locked, gaze solemnly
For some sort of certainty
We test
As we tease in elation
For a higher state of affirmation

We find not
As we shake in confusion
Truth in this illusion

The Youthful Longing for Nothing and More

In Ghana I decided to live my life here in Sweden, more like I did there, which equals spending more money on food, drinks, events, activities, and in return get more experiences and fun-times.

These past weeks have been all about sun-bathing (because summer came to Sweden?!?!! WHAT?!) going out, eating out, going to school, working and spend a lot of time with friends and a sweetheart.


I don’t know how many times Sonja and I have said, in the past couple of weeks: “Life’s too good. When is the shitstorm coming?” then we decided to simply enjoy all this goodiness without any scepticism.

Everything happens within a haze of hopes, dreams and lust for life. I see it in the eyes of my friends and in the conversations amongst us. A lot is cooking but we don’t know what it will boil down to, all these ideas, decisions and the several paths of life one could go down. Everyone has their own route and I love being a part of every single one’s own options and ideas.

I love being this age – all the questioning, advicing, adventures, strange happenings, possibilities, downfalls and the uncertainty to it all. 

Down below follows some snippets of late:


Over ‘n’ out. 

In Kokrobite we danced in the moonlight

Yesterday we got back from Kokrobite, a small paradise an hour outside of Accra.

We stayed in a honeymoon suite (to say the least) at Kokrobite Garden. With paintings, colorful houses, a beautiful garden and snaky pathways I think it makes for the ultimate setting for a wedding.


The moon here in Ghana tends to shine brighter than it does in other places. Fortunately I would say, because without it it would be pitch black everywhere.

Both Friday and Saturday night were quite magical, we danced on the beach in the moonlight, with the stars trying to outshine the moon, without success.

On Saturday it was Reggae night at Big Milly’s and I danced for four hours straight. I was so sweaty I might as well had been taking a bath. Felt free as a bird and my smile was stuck to my face all night long. Before the party started a Ghanaian team of acrobats blew our minds away with all that body-twisting.



All in all a great freaking weekend, wonderful people, dancing, sun, the ocean and many unexpected turn of events.

Now I’m headed to the gym for the first time in two weeks and I am PUMPED!!!!

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